On a 4-point scale, here’s your score: 3
This response demonstrates competent success with the expository writing task. For the most part, the essay:
focuses on a clear thesis, with minor distractions
shows effective organization, with minor lapses
offers mostly thoughtful ideas
develops ideas adequately, with a mixture of general and specific elaboration
exhibits general control of written language





Setting a Standard for Myself Crash,boom,bam and back into the world of trouble! I step back on this crazy life of horrible people and the goofy things people do. Then I take four steps forward and someone steps on my life and encourages me. I need to set a standards. One time when I was in the fifth grade my lovely mom let me go to the Esplanade Mall by myself with one friend and her oldest sister. This was the very first time without an adult's supervision. I can remember my mom's exact words,"Stay out of trouble."I arrived at the mall and walked into this purple jewerly store called Claire's. My two friends and I started shopping. I saw what I wanted, and they saw what they wanted also. When we got to the cash register they didn't have enough money so they put some items back that they really wanted. I had extra money left over so I went and shopped around some more, while they just walked around and looked. I pick up my things and paid the cashier while they stole many things out if the store. We were walking out the beeper went off, "beeeeeeeeeeeep." They told us to stay right there until a security arrived.He checked us and found stuff that they shoved in my bad and other items on them. They called the police and had all of us arrested just when I was at the age of ten years old. Being a good leader is a good thing to do. Basically set good examples for yourself and follow them. Staying out of trouble is the best thing to do. When I stepped into the doors of my seventh grade year at Roosevelt Middle School and thought I could do whatever I want because I don't always have adult watching everything I do and people don't label me as the little sixth grader anymore I thought I was the stuff. I got my first behavior report,detention,and suspension. I received all of this because I tried to be down with people that call me their friends but wasn't necessarily. I always used to rebut to the teacher and tell her what I'm not going to do. I would get written up and don't care. But as I sit in the office and think about,I wish I could turn back. Summarizing all this that I said is to only follow the right people,Choose your friends wisely. Make standards for your own good. Think about it before doing it.And finally be a good leader

Volleyball

Bump,set,spike,and back over the net. It's best for people to share their support. America's best in
the U.S;which is my favorite,volleyball.
Most Americans in the United states watch voleyball on either television or they attend a game.When just watching it on television or just a game,it's the same amount of excitement.The games only last for a hour;a hour and a half at the most.
Volleyball is usually played in any month which is at any time of the year. If for some reason it's
too cold or too hot it's held inside the gym on a court.Otherwise,volleyball can be played as beach volleyball
outside in the sand.
Volleyball says alot about Americans.Sports like this says that many are sucessful and love what they
desire to do.
Coming to a conclusion this summarizes as saying that volleyball players love the effort that make on
the court and love the American audience that support them.

edited verison

"You brightened my day when you all came to see me on this special day in such a special way."happily confessed Grandpa Joe."Today I thought I felt so special and honored that I at least had my grandchildren to come see me while I'm slowly dieing as a veteran after that great fight in Iraq."
"I love you Racheii and Racheal."muttered Grandpa Joe.
"I love you too and I made this wonderful blanket for you and after your death someone is going to return this to me and this will keep me in remembrance of your love,kindness,and consideration."Racheal said with tears of joy scrolling down both sides of her chubby cheeks.
"I love you also and for you to be honored I;m going to play this song and I also promise to play this exact song at your funeral."exclaimed Racheii.
As Grandpa Joe was turning to kiss Rachel Racheii started to play his song because he wanted to honor is grandpa on all the things he did for our country.They will always remember this same hospital room on the same hospital bed with the same love that was shared.
Pleasent faces circled the brezzy atmosphere.Seeing his grandchildren was the best thing that ever happened to him.To be there right where they were would be the best thing I would experience.

Veteran's Day

"You brightened my day when you all came to see me on this special day in such a special way."happily confessed Grandpa Joe."Today I thought I felt so special and honored that I at least had my grandchildren to come see me while I'm slowly dieing as a veteran after that great fight in Iraq."
"I love you Racheii and Racheal."muttered Grandpa Joe.
"I love you too and I made this wonderful blanket for you and after your death someone is going to return this to me and this will keep me in remembrance of your love,kindness,and consideration."Racheal said with tears of joy scrolling down both sides of her chubby cheeks.
"I love you also and for you to be honored I;m going to play this song and I also promise to play this exact song at your funeral."exclaimed Racheii.
As Grandpa Joe was turning to kiss Rachel Racheii started to play his song because he wanted to honor is grandpa on all the things he did for our country.They will always remember this same hospital room on the same hospital bed with the same love that was shared.

The key to a doorknob
The key to heaven
The key to my heart
it's split into seven
it's as gold as a ring
but it really has a bling
it should shine with a silly sound
in the morning when the birds sing.

I'm standing on this big,unsteady, brown, scaly bark.
"NOOOOOOOOOO,please don't let me fall I'm trying my best not to run into that enormous,fiery,ball of combustion ," I screamed.
"I'm going to keep you up & steady just hold on tight and we going to be moving swiftly across the Pacific Ocean," the tree bark replied.
The old ball of flames is trying his best to get closer and closer to me. I'm NOT afraid I'm just going to plop down on this bark and continue my journey.
"Are you okay down there."
"Yes"I mumbled with a squeaky voice.
The diligent,easygoing,anxious ball of fire tried harder & harder to get closer and closer I would push him off but immediately he came closer and closer and POW there he was punching,shoving,towing,hauling and severely burning me. I elbowed him off into the ways of that beautiful,blue ocean and as happy as I was, I was on my way to San Fransisco,California.

One day this girl Kiristen and I were in fourth period math class taking our long boring exam the second to last day of school.When Kiristen's grandma comes to school.
"Hi,may I help you?"asked the secretary.
"Yes."answered Grandma"My child had brought a yearbook and let her friend Jessaymn borrow it. She sat it on the sticky cafeteria table.This short,black girl picked it up and never returned it to Kiristen neither Jessaymn."
"Okay the principal will deal with this situation in just a moment."exclaimed the secretary.
"Thanks."muttered Grandma.
The next period Kiristen and I got called to the office.There stands this big,tall,old guy,Mr.Simmons.
"Tell me the problem Kiristen."advised Mr. Simmons.
"Sure,one day two weeks ago I got a yearbook and let Jessaymn borrow it and she stole it because it's still at her house."jabbered Kiristen.
I cut her off,stomped my foot and screamed,"No I didn't because the short girl Erica took it when she saw it on the cafertia table.
"Whatever."replied Kiristen
"Whatever then."I confessed.
So now Mr. Simmons just told us to apologize and it would be over with.She apologized but I didn't.
"I want to fight her."I demanded.
The last day of school,after school,at that small blue Ihop building I had that fight and I felt good.Now it's off my chest.

Love taste like a pack of skittles that is just so...
Love taste like a pack of skittles that is just so sweet. Love feels like a baseball game a team you just can not beat.Loves sounds like slow music to the soul love is strong, big, and bold.Love looks like a rainbow after a very yucky wet day.Love also taste like a vanilla cream.Love smell like fresh baked bread.But it also smell like roses instead!!

8/25/08
by WATZ UP!!